Have you ever stopped to listen to the things you say to your children? I contemplated this the other day when I saw this post on Pinterest:
































Image from: http://themetapicture.com/things-dad-said-to-his-children/

I’m sure every parent can relate to this. As I enjoyed a chuckle, I found myself reminiscing over the weird and wonderful things I have said to my own kids. Things like:

Stop brushing the dog with my toothbrush!

Please stop drinking the toilet water.

Stop eating the sunscreen, darling.

That’s the dish the dog eats from, not you.

Don’t lick the ground.

No! A number two goes in the loo! (gagging)

As nauseating as some may seem, each brings a smile along with a special memory. These years are a little line in the song of life and before we know it, this verse will be over. We will ask ourselves: when did they grow up? what happened to my baby? why did I not capture each note sung?

But we will have moved on to the next part in our song, the next verse in our life. This new verse will also hold special notes and lyrics. But try as we might, we can never return to the previous verse. Each verse can be sung only once.

So, let’s make the most of the verse our lives are singing. Enjoy every note, every word, the melody of every line. Record it in our hearts and in our memories, for this is how it can be replayed and appreciated again and again.

Let’s listen to our kids. Actively listen.

Let’s watch our kids. Truly watch.

Let’s converse with our kids. A real conversation.

And let’s remember the moments. Every moment. The moments that make us laugh and lament, smile and sob, shriek and shrug. Every moment is a note worth capturing in the song of life.

Shopping with toddlers, you ask? Easy!

No, not really. It’s possibly my least favourite activity since having kids, second only to doing groceries with toddlers. And here’s why.

So, I had to go to the shops. Now, I’m not one of those women who has moments where she must go shopping or she’ll die. In fact, I’ve never been one of those, but give me some credit, I can shop for a good half hour before I’m ready for a coffee break.

I had to go to the shops as it was my last opportunity to buy my sister’s birthday present before I would see her on her birthday. It is definitely not my usual practice to go shopping at 4.30pm with a three year old and a nearly two year old. But, I had to.

So, there we were, at the shopping centre, in the middle of witching hour (the mysterious time of day when young children turn into monsters, and may I add, in spite of the title, it usually lasts a number of hours).

I had both girls sitting in a double-seated trolley, buckled in, with no chance of escape (I thought). Well, Miss 3 was not impressed. I guess, she is three now, after all, and that means graduation from child to teenager. How dare I put her in a trolley?! So, Miss 3 made sure she let me know her thoughts, as any self-respecting threenager would. Oh, and while she was at it, she also let the whole shopping centre know.

Meanwhile, Miss 2 decided she was hungry. Yes, she just realized ten seconds ago, and no, she can’t wait. So, she added her tears and indignation to the mix.

Although I was practically running trying to find the elusive gift, I was still searching a whole fifteen minutes later. Yes, it felt like an hour. At this point, Miss 2 was tired of hearing her sister’s cries and started pulling hair, scratching, and hitting, obviously resulting in more cries. Which led to Miss 3 escaping the buckle, standing up and attempting to climb out of the trolley.

That’s when I noticed people watching me. If only it was to admire my grace, my confidence, or my beauty (that’s definitely wishful thinking; finding time for makeup application is a treat these days)! But let’s face it, what’s not to look at with two screaming kids?

You’d think I’d have given up by now, right? Wrong. I had to get this present! So, after some behaviour management, apologies, hugs, and seat changes, I continued on my mission. And, finally, I found a shop I knew would have the present. It did, but it took a little more browsing to find it, in which time the girls unanimously voted THEY’D HAD ENOUGH. And both started crying. And neither stopped.

Knowing they were safe, just grumpy, I pushed my shoulders back, forced a spring in my step, and pasted a smile on my face. Approaching the sales assistant, I placed the gift items on the counter. She gave me a sympathetic smile and, over the din of my dismal daughters, said, “I admire you for getting out anyway.”

That’s when I wondered if all those other people watching me were thinking the same thing, that I came to the shops by choice. That I could’ve stayed home if I had wanted to. Because, believe me, I do not choose to go to the shops, especially in the afternoon, and especially with young children. So, to all those people who saw me that day and thought I was plain crazy, you were right. I was. But let me assure you, I had no choice.

But then again, there was that time I did have a choice and found myself with a baby I was watching for the day, Miss 2 covered in hotcake syrup and Miss 3 stuck at the top of the McDonalds playground with an ‘accident’ in her pants (of the solid variety). Hmm…

So, no matter your reasons for going out with toddlers, what’s my advice? Keep smiling!

Moment of truth: I sometimes get caught up in the busyness of life… actually, I always get caught up the busyness of life. Errands to run, bills to pay, people to meet, work to finish, kids to feed, naps to have and books to read(!) among many other things.

Isn’t it so easy to get caught up doing, doing, doing, and to lose sight of those things which make life meaningful? And isn’t it even easier to forget how blessed we are and to constantly be longing for the next thing, be it life stages, material possessions, holidays, promotions, the list is endless.

My three year old (G3) reminded me of this the other day when she asked if she could pick flowers from the garden.

“Flowers?” I questioned, rather puzzled. You see, we don’t have a garden, let alone flowers. We have dirt, rocks, weeds. Having newly built in a semi-rural area, the garden hasn’t been a priority yet.

“Yes, flowers!” my daughter insisted.

“But we don’t have any flowers, sweetheart.”

“Yes, we do, Mummy! Down there!”

Baffled, I searched for the infamous flowers.

And then I saw them. Flowers I had never noticed. Flowers I would not have noticed if not for the innocent eye of a three year old. She pointed to an overgrown jumble of weeds, some of which were flowering.

“See Mummy? There. In the garden!”

Well. Who says kids can’t teach you things? That day I learnt a lot. We do have a garden. We do have flowers. It all depends on the way I choose to see it. But first, I must slow down to even have the opportunity of seeing it. Let’s remember to stop and enjoy our children, our partners, our families, our jobs, everything we have, and take in the beauty so we don’t miss it altogether.

When there are no roses to stop and smell, stop and admire the weeds!

(Recommended reading: The Reflective Life by Ken Gire found at Amazon or Word bookstore).